Counselling and therapy

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?

Each of us has a range of behaviours, feelings and thoughts which impact on our relationships, our work and how we view ourselves. The Emotionally Focused approach considers a person in a holistic way, taking into account how events and upbringing affect the current situation.

It takes us some time to develop the responses we have to situations, events and people. We have learned in our families or from our significant carers how to deal with emotions and in many cases, how to hide or push down our true reactions from others and ourselves.

This may work for us for years and then we may start to experience problems with our physical or emotional health or notice the same issue resurfacing time and time again. It may be that you find yourself attracted to the same type of person in every relationship or perhaps it’s increasingly difficult to limit your alcohol intake. Others may have problems with sleeping, eating or have extreme feelings of anxiety.

The Emotionally Focused approach examines where you are at present and how your current situation can be improved. Together we examine why you react the way you do and work on changing the unhealthy reactions but also look at new ways of expressing emotion.

Longer term, Emotionally Focused therapy looks at how you can have live a more fulfilling life and heal past hurts. Either way it’s all about helping you reach your full potential.

Is this approach different to others?

Emotionally Focused Therapy is based on several different approaches – Gestalt, Person-Centred, Systems Theory, Developmental Theory and aspects of Somatic Therapy and Art Therapy. It’s experiential in nature which means it focuses on your present experience – your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.

What does EFT offer for couples?

We all bring our collective parts and pasts into our current relationships. Things can go well in a relationship for some time until suddenly, it seems we don’t know or understand the other person at all. We can find that we have drifted apart or wonder what we ever saw in them. It can seem we are stuck in particular ways of responding as the same arguments resurface over and over again.

Emotionally Focused Therapy involves coaching a couple in how to communicate in new ways, developing a different perspective on how and why partners act in certain ways. It can be a short process for some while others may benefit from longer term work.

One person is not seen as the “problem”. A relationship is dependent on both parties accepting that together they can work to resolve issues and heal the rifts which have developed between them.